Pray for my mom.

[sallyannlady]

My 85 year old mother has been in the hospital since Friday- not sure how much longer she'll be in, or what will happen to her when she can leave- she should be somewhere where she can be cared for, but is fighting going every step of the way. Please pray that her health will be restored, and that a decision can be made about her care after that. Thanks, guys- you're the best!

[Freebird]

Consider it done, Annie....hope your mom is able to recover and that your family can come to the best decisions for all. Keep us posted.

[Wait4it]

It's tough making decisions for our aging parents. Annie, do you have any siblings who can help you deal with your mom at this transitional time?

[UHadMeAtWooHoo]

Sending prayers for your mom and family!

My friend's mom fought leaving her home and has ended up loving the assisted living that she's in. She has new friends, loves the routine, and is really enjoying herself. My mom didn't do as well in her place. It really depends on their mental abilities and the place IMO. I hope you have people that can help you with the decisions. It's not easy!

[Mac]

Annie, you and your mom will continue to be in my thoughts. It's so difficult to see our parents health fail and to be faced with the difficult decisions about their care.

[keb]

Annie your Mom and your whole family are in my prays and thoughts.

[sallyannlady]

(11-28-2011 11:58 PM)Wait4it Wrote:  It's tough making decisions for our aging parents. Annie, do you have any siblings who can help you deal with your mom at this transitional time?

No- it's just me and my 24 year old son, so I have really nobody to fall back on, so it's really difficult. When something happens, it's only us- sometimes I get so tired. Thanks for all your thoughs and prayers, my friends.

[Legacy]

I am so sorry you are going through all this and your mom is so ill. The thought of putting our parents in the care of a facility is very scary. We have all heard the horror stories and I have seen the neglect up close with some of the poorly run homes. I have also seen the result of parents who are filthy because the child does not feel comfortable bathing a parent, or insisting that they take their meds at certain intervals and do not have the knowledge, finances or help to properly care for a parent and if something happens often end up being accused of elderly abuse. I think if the facility knows that you are going to be checking on her very reguarly and you become very pro active and vocal with the staff they will make sure that your mother is cared for. Because they like you, her and want to please you; or knowing that you will not accept mediocre care for your mother and will give them hell if that is what she is receiving .. they will take care of her to avoid possible altercations or lawsuits. But do know that most lawyers will not take elderly cases as they are not going to get big money for their neglect cases... and the nursing homes know this as well. But the squeaky wheel always gets the grease. And the new laws governing how the caretakers will be paid should make a difference there as well.
I have thought about when my parents may have to go into a care facility. We have talked about it and they have chosen an assisted living facility that has private apartments where they can retain their independence, but will have the assistance if needed. (Such as they can cook in the apartment or go to the dining hall to eat.) Someone will be there to check on them daily and if the time comes when they will need total care that is available and they can move out of the apartment and into a room. At this point they can stay in their home and I check in daily with them. But to have them make this decision and have everything in place and they have even made the preparations financially and legally for that time, is a true gift from my parents to me and my sister. My whole family + the family doctor will work hard to keep them independent for as long as possible. And when the time comes I will sign a DNR and not prolong their life out of a selfish desire to have a parent who is alive but not living. I have had a case where a 98 yr old was in kidney failure and suffered from dementia so severe that he no longer knew who he was, much less who his kids were and the kids wanted everything done... even wanted the parent to have a kidney transplant, put on a vent, chest compressions on brittle old bones.... that is not love that is cruelty. And a DNR does not mean medical care will not be provided, it just means that the patient will not receive cpr and ventilator support, or cardiac drugs to keep the heart beating. They will receive pain meds, b/p meds, any meds that are needed, oxygen to keep their O2 levels up, and comfort care. They will be allowed to die with their dignity intact when their time comes.
I pray for you and your mother and hope that you can come up with a care plan that makes you both happy, and feel as if she is living her best life.

[Stangy]

Oh wow. I feel for you very strongly on this because I have been there. All my best wishes for a solution that brings everyone to a comfortable place emotionally. My heart goes out.

[dg90001]

(11-28-2011 11:39 PM)sallyannlady Wrote:  My 85 year old mother has been in the hospital since Friday- not sure how much longer she'll be in, or what will happen to her when she can leave- she should be somewhere where she can be cared for, but is fighting going every step of the way. Please pray that her health will be restored, and that a decision can be made about her care after that. Thanks, guys- you're the best!

Annie, I am praying for you Mom.
These times are so difficult - I am praying that you have guidance in your choices.